Musical Life of Hushgirl

For once in many years, I started to listen to this song. The song I regard as the suicidal song. Yep. How depressing.. Isn't all radiohead songs depressive.. I dunno. It is hard to admit I'm actually heartbroken. For once in many many years I thought I could stay jomblo kayak ginih. Truly I really couldn't live with this one I knew I could never have. And maybe, the one I don't wanna have. You know? But the thought of not having him in my life is really hurting. It is painful, it is like standing in the rain and not feeling wet or cold cause you're dead inside. And you know, it's not love. Yes? Then what it is? I wish I knew. And I wish .... Rain down, rain down Come on rain down on me From a great height From a great height... height... Rain down, rain down Come on rain down on me From a great height From a great height... height... Rain down, rain down Come on rain down on me

If you know my story, or if this blog still has the original entries, you sure do know that how excited I'd be with the second part of this movie. Yes as per the title. Of cuz it was related with my old man. The ex. Not that we used to go to a movie and watched it together, it was my fave even before I met him. Then when we were met, I shared to him all of my fave things. Including this, also the song Tentang Seseorang which I played in the background of our phone conversation in the wee hours. I have no idea when it became his favorite as well. But I know when he started to call me Cinta. Just like the main cast name. Just Lyke the movie, our relationship suddenly ended. I had hard times trying to forget him. Attempting to accept a new guy in my heart was really hard, and moving on?? He was indeed, my first love. And just like the movie too, we had our second chances. And toward the end, I really believe that, that was love. I was in love, he loves me. That was the closure...

I wonder what guys were thinking or feeling at the moment they held somebody hands and doing the akad..  Seriously what could be the real feeling?

Maybe he is dead.