i figure that i dont need a title.
its been almost a month now for 2009. 2009 has been quite a new life for me. Starting a new job, having a car (at last!), single again (not much new though) and u know.
Things like that. I am half a person who needs this new life and thinking that i should not look back.
Things with Nabil was.. hmm u might have guess. I was controlling myself not to think about him that much, not to cry at nite missing him and many other stupid thing like begging him not to leave me. Well done to me, the only time i tried to reach him was on his birthday. That was just a simple sms. Definitely, no reply. Sometimes i feel like a bag full of crap to him. I am completely nothing to him.
But i know i cant complaint, i am no one. And even if he cared to listen, it wont change anything. I guess im through with it. But yes.. sometimes it was so sad.
So when i was about to completely forget and give him up. It was last Tuesday. I decided its ok to be single if i dun have him. And in this meantime, i dun feel like having to feel for any other guy or whatever feelings for them. I just need a rest.
On wednesday nite, i thought of him and cried in my sleep.
The next morning i saw his email. And the whole Thursday, he was with me. And of course, as much as i tried to hide my feeling, i told him that i missed him, and he said that he missed me too. And yes complaint a bit, but not that much. U know i hate to be selfish when i know he has a lot to think and i know i am not his number 1 priority.
I have no idea what will happened next, i guess i am not goin to be hopeful but again i dun want to lose this feeling for him. This feeling not only making me sane, it even make me being a good girl for this couple of years. If you know what i mean. I am a good girl now :)
I feel like to write so much about my life now. Even actually there is not much interesting storied to tell. I rarely going out now. LIfe is just office, home, Bentong and gym. hehehe omg im so old!
Talking about old, this year am gonna be 29. The best thing is my birthday would fall on Friday. Means a friday nite to ronggeng. :) no plan yet but i think i should not be sober that nite ( well.... depends on the company) should i sleep alone that nite? OMG that is so cruelz
owh.. if people said when we suddenly thought of somebody, was that somebody actually thought of us as well? i thought of my dear friend in the States.. hmm cant actually say his name. or even nickname. i was prohibited on that.. well nah i dun think so. i think to him i might be dead... or maybe someone who never exist..
Sometimes i really feel weird. I tend to be good to all people i know.. sad but true, most of them dont appreciate me.. or even .. hmm i dunno. Sometimes i feel tired when all i do is to take care of their feelings when they dont even care about mine.
Guess this is the upside down of the life i supposed..
Well well.. i survived 30 days of 2009 (well yea im anti 2009).. will i survive another 135 days?
U Bet I Will. InsyaAllah
Blogged by Amylia * 2152 hrs
its been almost a month now for 2009. 2009 has been quite a new life for me. Starting a new job, having a car (at last!), single again (not much new though) and u know.
Things like that. I am half a person who needs this new life and thinking that i should not look back.
Things with Nabil was.. hmm u might have guess. I was controlling myself not to think about him that much, not to cry at nite missing him and many other stupid thing like begging him not to leave me. Well done to me, the only time i tried to reach him was on his birthday. That was just a simple sms. Definitely, no reply. Sometimes i feel like a bag full of crap to him. I am completely nothing to him.
But i know i cant complaint, i am no one. And even if he cared to listen, it wont change anything. I guess im through with it. But yes.. sometimes it was so sad.
So when i was about to completely forget and give him up. It was last Tuesday. I decided its ok to be single if i dun have him. And in this meantime, i dun feel like having to feel for any other guy or whatever feelings for them. I just need a rest.
On wednesday nite, i thought of him and cried in my sleep.
The next morning i saw his email. And the whole Thursday, he was with me. And of course, as much as i tried to hide my feeling, i told him that i missed him, and he said that he missed me too. And yes complaint a bit, but not that much. U know i hate to be selfish when i know he has a lot to think and i know i am not his number 1 priority.
I have no idea what will happened next, i guess i am not goin to be hopeful but again i dun want to lose this feeling for him. This feeling not only making me sane, it even make me being a good girl for this couple of years. If you know what i mean. I am a good girl now :)
I feel like to write so much about my life now. Even actually there is not much interesting storied to tell. I rarely going out now. LIfe is just office, home, Bentong and gym. hehehe omg im so old!
Talking about old, this year am gonna be 29. The best thing is my birthday would fall on Friday. Means a friday nite to ronggeng. :) no plan yet but i think i should not be sober that nite ( well.... depends on the company) should i sleep alone that nite? OMG that is so cruelz
owh.. if people said when we suddenly thought of somebody, was that somebody actually thought of us as well? i thought of my dear friend in the States.. hmm cant actually say his name. or even nickname. i was prohibited on that.. well nah i dun think so. i think to him i might be dead... or maybe someone who never exist..
Sometimes i really feel weird. I tend to be good to all people i know.. sad but true, most of them dont appreciate me.. or even .. hmm i dunno. Sometimes i feel tired when all i do is to take care of their feelings when they dont even care about mine.
Guess this is the upside down of the life i supposed..
Well well.. i survived 30 days of 2009 (well yea im anti 2009).. will i survive another 135 days?
U Bet I Will. InsyaAllah
Blogged by Amylia * 2152 hrs