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feelin unPretty

I'm not proud but I'm glad that after watching Glee #18 I got to watch TLC - unPretty video again. Well, i was touched cuz thats what I feel right now.
Blaming my PMS, was very down in the dumps 2, 3 days ago. Yesterday was ok a bit cuz had the period started. The day before was very bad. I really hated goin to the office, i felt like killing people who accidentally hit my chair and i really hated my colleagues for being too noisy.
The night I skipped the gym and went home. Skipped dinner cuz too sad and stuff, just being able to play farmville and dozed off. Around 12 midnite I got up and went to shower. Resumed farmville, social city and Nana's cafe world. around 1 am, tried to get to sleep. things on my mind, just could stop crying. Its funny now cuz i dint know why i was crying.
then i was buzzed by the YM alert on my blackberry. it was nabil. i said Hi back and talked to him until 5 am.

i popped a question ive been wanting to know the answer.  so nabil opened up. i did too. it was very honest very sincere and a little bit selfish. both of us, i could figure. though we ended having our mutual agreement and i was kinda ok with that, it didnt end so well. i escaped. was feeling a bit sulky. i decided that would be the last conversation i'd had with him.

and the next day i was a little sad that i lost a friend. a soulmate. to whom i would never pretend to be anyone else. nabil basically knows 99% of my history.

and that could be the reason we would never be more that just friends. i guess...

whatever it is, id take it as no jodoh.

maybe mine with somebody else, to whom i love.
maybe?



break for a while. continuing glee #19


love, Amylia

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