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A Letter to Elise

When I was studying in you know where, the signal was bad. Yeah it was 2001 or 2000, that most places had bad reception and there were certain places that allowed you to talk over the phone.
With anybody - my case then, with my ex-soulmate.
He would call, on certain nite and that was among the nites he would call to sing a song for me. I would sat down at the stairs and listened to him. Most of the time, I requested the songs I wanna hear.
But this is his very first song he sang to me. The meaningful one. The reason I fell in love with The Cure.

Oh Elise it doesn't matter what you say
I just can't stay here every yesterday
Like keep on acting out the same
The way we act out
Every way to smile
Forget
And make-believe we never needed
Any more than this
Any more than this

Oh Elise it doesn't matter what you do
I know I'll never really get inside of you
To make your eyes catch fire
The way they should
The way the blue could pull me in
If they only would
If they only would
At least I'd lose this sense of sensing something else
That hides away
From me and you
There're worlds to part
With aching looks and breaking hearts
And all the prayers your hands can make
Oh I just take as much as you can throw
And then throw it all away
Oh I throw it all away
Like throwing faces at the sky
Like throwing arms round
Yesterday
I stood and stared
Wide-eyed in front of you
And the face I saw looked back
The way I wanted to
But I just can't hold my tears away
The way you do

Elise believe I never wanted this
I thought this time I'd keep all of my promises
I thought you were the girl I always dreamed about
But I let the dream go
And the promises broke
And the make-believe ran out...

So Elise
It doesn't matter what you say
I just can't stay here every yesterday
Like keep on acting out the same
The way we act out
Every way to smile
Forget
And make-believe we never needed
Any more than this
Any more than this

And every time I try to pick it up
Like falling sand
As fast as I pick it up
It runs away through my clutching hands
But there's nothing else I can really do
There's nothing else I can really do
There's nothing else
I can really do
At all...



you know seriously, i was avoiding to listen to this song for years and I listened back this week and it felt good. 


no it doesnt mean he called me back, i think he is very much happy with the wife and kid(s). 
yeah... thats what life supposed to be. everybody is happy. 


me? 
im waiting for a letter to amy. :)




muchos xoxo,
amylia









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