Skip to main content

The Art of Loneliness

Achtung : this might be the most EMO blog entry of the year.


I never been this lonely before. Ever since I lost nabil, its like im dead inside. I know I have no feelings for him anymore or i guess, if i have, its not really useful. But I cant deny that there are times I got to think about him. Yes I miss him. However this time its different cuz, whenever I thought of him, I didnt cry.

Not like the last time. Tears were so cheap.

Since I lost nabil, I did everything to keep me head full. Went on a break with my family, bought expensive doll, went out with other guy, gave some guys some chance to know me better, planned a girls trip to Bali, planned a 3 year future plan for myself... the more i avoid him, the more lonely I am and I am not happy.

And I seems to be dead inside. I had a counseling with my gf Zai. I was okay for a moment. But the more I want to feel better, the more misery I am.

I really miss him. and I lose. I just dialled his number.


the number is dead..


:(



and now u know why i dun feel like goin to Jamiroquai's.. it reminds me of nabil..



Hushgirl currently listening to : I'm With You | Avril Lavigne | Let Go

Popular posts from this blog

pretty in pink Peonies and Blair Waldorf.

just to keep myself happy. zai, peonies means happily in marriage, sorta.. jom carik peonies hand bouquet.. tapi fresh one aku dah survey kat petaling street takder! Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Better Man

Waitin', watchin' the clock, it's four o'clock, it's got to stop Tell him, take no more, she practices her speech As he opens the door, she rolls over... Pretends to sleep as he looks her over She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man... She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man... Can't find a better man Can't find a better man Ohh... Talkin' to herself, there's no one else who needs to know... She tells herself, oh... Memories back when she was bold and strong And waiting for the world to come along... Swears she knew it, now she swears he's gone She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man... She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man... She lies and says she still loves him, can't find a better man... She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man... Can't find a better man Can...

The Art of Henry Binns

( this one inspired by Carrie Bradshaw ) I have a little bad habit. I tend to get away from routine whenever I failed in a relationship. And when I say the routine, it was my job. My first job took place in PJ and after 3 years of servicing, I got to bump into my ex-soulmate everyday on the way to the office. I was waiting for my feeder bus and he was waiting for his shuttle bus. It was okay at first, I began to change my arrival schedule. But there was one evening, I was out of the office and there I saw him, was getting out of his shuttle in front of my office building.. looking and smiling at me, I knew I should get a new job. And I got one. It was in KL. Far away from him and his shuttle bus. And when I was in KL, I had my Nabil to accompany me everytime I had to stay back and sometimes on to work on weekend. All the desk and chair smell of him. And when we didnt work out, I felt like to get a fresh start.. I couldnt wait to get new job. ( moreover the contract would be finished an...