Musical Life of Hushgirl

go away please. cuz I heard Smashing Pumpkins is coming to town and that will be my 1st Sp concert and I know I am not goin cuz I made my mind not to go to concert anymore but I really wanna go. Its Smashing Pumpkins and you know me, I love Smashing Pumpkins, no it is not love it is more than that but I know I will not go cuz not only I made that stupid decision, cuz most of my Smashing Pumpkins kaki are all married and at least have their own partner and nobody wanna go with me. This is just like the Jamiroquai tragedy. I hate it. I hate my life and I hate myself. Oh, I have a cute CEO. I have crush on him. im NOT okay. xAMYx

Should I start with "what a weekend?" But I found it negative so I am not gonna use that. So, let start over. I always, though I actually feeling like in denial, I realize that I avoid to be a grown up. I refused to drive here and there - I basically still relying on my parents to drive me around, I never work in a place for more than 5 years, basically I am a commitment freak kinda person I guess? No, I am not sure, I never been in a serious relationship before, getting things serious always scare the hell of me. Yea, I guess? Actually, I always thought that I would grow up after I settled down. Like most people I know. They were childish before, still am.. but of course marriages mature them. I think I would be like them, someday.  But I didnt realize that clock ticking, people grows older and my parents getting older, I think I need to grow up. By myself.  Last Saturday I drove back to my hometown for the voting responsibility, well, Done my part now. I...

*smile* I managed to to survive the First of May with no dramatic feeling. Or should I say, I didnt cry. This morning I were walking to the Market and I was thinking I need to blog. Not only cuz I have no ears listen to me now, ( yes my stories arent interesting ) but somehow, I feel like cuz today is First of May. If someone can officially move on on this date, why cant I? So I was thinking of why am I gonna blog then. And I have some pretty nasty idea. It wasnt myself, but maybe some part of me hiding. I know that I could say mean things, ( of cuz it will be meaner cuz people wont expect it from me, sweet little Amy ) that is why I always keep quiet and smile. and that is why orang pijak2 u, Amy. The Market made me happy, I didnt buy much but I got nasi lemak ( it wasnt really nice btw ) On the way back, I thought of the happy sweet little things I would blog later. But I didnt .. up until now. I had my nasi lemak with Abg Tony, was watching back the first Iron Man movi...

When it began and when it ends. So I completed my Gossip Girl marathon season 2 and 3 in a month. Not exactly a marathon you can say, it was series of marathon. There was this one episode in Season 3 when Chuck and Blair broke off their 1st serious relationship and B wanted to throw away all the Chuck memoirs ( i wonder if there were any jewels in the box) . She gave the box ( labelled "Old Life") out to Dorota, and as expected Dorota kept it. The moment B realized that in order to move on, she cant pretend that the bad memories never exist. She knew Chuck will also be a part of her life. Maybe, it was the past but what is future without the past. It made me thinking though, and given this very special date, 10-12-2012. When it all began, the relationship rekindled in 2010 and it broke in 2012. Yes, a coincidence you must say. But I love all this sign. I'm a seeker, I guess. So, I put up this blog again to live. This is me, this is my past. This will also be my...

there is a period in girl's monthly cycle that she can be super emotional, super sensitive and super hot. its really tough to juggle with all those. its depressing. and she will very very much likely to think am i disgustingly fat? is he hates me now? is he goin to leave me? omg ill die alone i am so fat bla bla bla it even crappy that she will have no mood for lyke everything. yea. and yup, thats my day. it started with gloomy morning. i was walking in drizzle of rain. i did my coding heartlessly. i talked with people who fancied me but i dont fancy them. and its karma, i tried to make a conversation with my man cuz believe me, we aint talking that much anymore. and he didnt reply. up to now. sometimes i think, he has other girl. my emo talking. hmm.. sigh. So I finished my work like 6pm. Couldnt take it anymore. get home. talked to people who fancy me. its like watering a dying beautiful flower plant. what am i talking now? the thing is, its such a crap da...

I never celebrated Valentine's. I mean, never had those formal flowers and dinner and chocs and such. The most Ive done was wishing and yep, when I was in my teen, I would exchange Valentine's with my cousin. We were pretty pathetic dont we? So this year, my man was back from up north and he bought me a Cadbury bar. I assumed that as my Valentine's chocs keke still pretty pathetic, eh? hahah kasik can la okay. Since last year, he started the tradition of wishing the v-day thing, so I was waited for his wish this year. I waited the whole 13th and nothing ( cuz last year was on 13th -- before he forget, he said ). I went to bed earlier, I didnt finish my grammy, I wanna be ready in bed when he would wish. And yes, 12++ he did. I smiled to sleep. Madness. So, that was just it. No plan for eat in or eat out or whatsoever. I planned for a quiet dinner at home, watching movie and eating the chocs. However, around 5++ I asked Zai if she wanna get cuppa, so I went to KLCC -...

So, the weekend is finally over! ( and so are other things, I guess..) Day 1 - drove back home. It was really quiet while I was driving, both the traffic and the passenger. But it was okay. Back home, settled some personal stuff and had big lunch and yea, played with kitties were the best thing to do at home. Day 2 - nothing much. Edited some pics, blogged, played with kitties, most of the times I was in the balcony in front of my lappie and yea, helped my colleague to check some error. Day 3 - drove to Kuantan. Only me and ma, after Temerloh the weather was bad. It was raining cat n dog at one time, and it was sunny at one time. To drive in a stormy heavy rain was scary, I was glad I made it through. Anyway, Jalan Gambang had pretty heavy traffic and it was scary again. When we got to my aunt's house, I was so glad. And was really glad to hear that designated sms beep which I missed so much. Went to ECM for a while and nearly bought this love shaped soap at Body Shop. Very V...

photo editor : Photo Studio for Blackberry collage maker : picnik.com xoxo, Amylia

I felt a bit sleepy just now, I didnt feel lyke to finish the movie anyway - so I decided to just go to bed. And before I did, I took a look in the kitchen and found out my sis had not complete the laundry works. So I did. While waiting for the last spin, I went to my room to get my birth cert, and all the books n mags fell out of the shelf. And when I put them in place, saw few of my Starbucks journal that I have been collecting since 2008. I feel lyke to share them here. When I done with the laundry, grabbed my Canon and here goes as the saga continues... the journal of 2008 I drew this at Starbucks KLCC after an interview at AmBank Group, which I nailed it. But the job sucks, I left the company after 8 months the journal of 2009 - didnt write much ( i was anti 2009, still am ) this is a song lyrics written by me titled chuck n blair. somehow May 2009 had the nicest pic of the month that was so me! (except the skinny body ) the journal of 2010 - my fave...

Semalam jaga big boi, today jaga kiddie boi. Both boys I love much. xoxo Amylia

 - biarlah ku dengan topi biruku -  Last time I hangout with tootsie and she said something lyke - biar la ku dengan jeans biruku . I kinda like it so, there goes the picture caption :) Anyway, its my dad blue cap which he paw my mom - found it at Daiso Pavi. And yes since its from Daiso, its only costs 5 rgt! Hahaha Babah snapped this pic which I kinda like it cuz its a different pose from what I usually have. And yes I love my hair - it looks damn long issit?? - despite I'm gonna lose my man soon ( or am I already have? ) I love my hair. For the time being, I only in love with myself. ( liar ) Amy - xx Note - the edited in lomo effect by photo studio for blackberry.

Clearing my sd card.

if only life can be this sweet. luv, Amylia xx

Seems like today is the best day eva! Was actually planning with Tootsie to climb the Batu Caves but but but! The sweet gal kesiangan! I was awake lyke 7 and got ready lyke 7:40 cuz she said she would come like 7:45 haha or issit 6:45, woman?! haha So she suggested for us to just lepak and having brunch and we finally had that at PappaRich, Wangsa Maju. I dont normally see this girl, although I would say she is my bff - cuz she's like tooooo far away down in Selangor and I'm in Kay Ell and I dont drive outside KL :D So its either she wud come pick me up or I waited somewhere like Bangsar or something. I just pity her to drive jauh2 for me :D But still we spare some times to chill and stuff - to keep in touch and keep up with our lives updates. Around 1 something, reached home. Kemas-kemas sikit and made stupid jokes to my sista. Just to annoy her. I did. She hates me haha. Later evening, while waiting for some file transfer - skyping with my man before he pulang beraya. ...

Soo, CHY, XY,  shawty, Peter and See Tho Just feel like to post this pic. This is my colleagues and ex-collegue ( the diff one ) on her last day here sob sob., she was in the different department but we were close -- still are, anyway IT dgn Actuarial mmg "ngam" as my boss said. Just got email from her with the new email address woot woot, and 1st thing she said me is that -- hey amy, do u wanna try Air Asia? :D hahahha yea of cuz, not the FA post la.. what do u think lah! shawty, Amylia

So, turned out Seventeenth day didnt give me good news, guess i may just give up. Its really hard when I am alone who tried to build up a relationship, while the other party just .. I dont know. I dont even know what he's thinking. To get myself more emo-er, I decided to see his ol' marriage photos again. I just wanted to know what I felt.  And it was okay at first, the flowers, the cupcakes, the stuff.. ok. When it came to his face, I stunned.  Bagus kan, padan muka I, then my laptop shutted down itself. Maybe it didnt want me to cry, so I was like, hmm okay. Few minutes later, I saw YM icon on my blackberry. It was dear old Cali Boy. He is now in Mesia. =) He's too excited to tell he that he's in town. We chatted for a moment, cuz we havent chatted for ages, I asked him to call me cuz its like AGES since we last spoke to each other. ( actually I just wanted to listen to his malay slang which is so funny keke :P ) and he did make me laugh.. pengecau.. apa pengecau,...

I dont have a proper adjective for January. But since the month starts with J, I chose Jumpy. Cuz mood was jumpy, weather was jumpy, feelings was jumpy. :P~ The week started with me with a mixed feelings. You know things when you care about someone, of course you wanna show it right, somehow if the party doesnt appreciate it, then its a big sign that you're unwanted. I guess I just have to open my eyes big enough to finally realize that this is NOT a dream amy. Wake up.  So the rest of the week I kept quiet. Which, didnt mean I give him all up. I just felt like to run away.  But, why run when you want to be found? Exactly. So I didnt, So i just made myself available. Although I was physically not available.  Seriously I dont understand what Ive been typing.  Urm, so Ma stayed at the crib for the whole week. The kitchen finally completed on Thursday, what a relief. I just hate take-outs and dine-outs. I mean, just sometimes its fine but not too f...

these few days I have some thoughts on what to do with my blog. one of them is to close it >> so much old stories which I dun find necessary anymore >> just feel like to be a bit mysterious >> im sick of people who read it and pretend they still have no idea >> some "sexy" pics of me might be a bit offensive. IM SORRY. but of course, ive paid Google so that i can get more of photo hosting. so, to close it? No. hushgirl.blogspot.com is my playground. i may have not much of a  food photos, travel photos, my own wedding photos, the events-i-went-to photos, -the-love-my-life photos, not like people in nu**nang ads blog. u know that kinda blog. bla bla bla photos bla bla bla photos. the so called famous wordless wednesday with un-Impressive nothing-to-tell picture. guess, im just different. so let me be. let me think of what-to-do-next. anyway, thanks for reading. its actually okay when you pretend you dont know. thats why its cal...

just to keep myself happy. zai, peonies means happily in marriage, sorta.. jom carik peonies hand bouquet.. tapi fresh one aku dah survey kat petaling street takder! Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

i started my gym training :) xoxo, Amylia