Musical Life of Hushgirl

I am OK - I am OK! he's not worth any sadness any cloud in my heart. i must love myself more than anything now. I MUST! Hushgirl currently listening to : -

devastated :( God, help. :( Hushgirl currently listening to : -

I really miss Nabil. :( the last time we talked was few days after I showed him my ex's wedding pics.. :( I dunno what happened then. Is he sulking? No reason for that.. maybe.. I hope he's ok and happy. Hmm Hushgirl currently listening to : All The Right Moves One Republic

I am so goin to lose my gfs! 1st it was Qiqi who is already having a new man in her life. A boy, actually. She is holding a Kenduri Aqiqah for the boy. I wanted to go but I dun know if I could drive to Seremban. Isk. And I asked Bonda to accompany me, but I dun see herself comfortable with the idea. Maybe despite of her wanting to see me being single and available all my life for her only.. she does want me to settle down ( like all of my friends.) Also, the driver.. Nana is hospitalized. So kesian her. I asked her to drive me to Seremban for the Kenduri. It wasnt confirmed but she had to go to the hospital so it was ok. Moreover, I dun really feel like goin cuz the other bff, Farah excitedly invite me to her house. I know I know I shouldnt feel this way But its proven in Sex & The City. When the girl still single and the other girl is settled down ( with kids ) they do not sync! No matter how great the bond is. ( Everytime I look at Mimi's baby Maryam, it hurts my soul. She is...

My bff's birthday today. To me, being 30 with a lovely daughter and the love of her life (the one and only) is simply .. perfect? No need a Tiffany & Co bracelet, no need dinner at posh restaurant. A quite dinner at home with loved ones is just as perfect. why dont i get those things? whats wrong with me? I wonder how I would feel on my up coming 30th birthday. Hmm Gosh this is depressing! Hushgirl currently listening to : -

i'm practicing. Comparisons are easily done Once you've had a taste of perfection Like an apple hanging from a tree I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed You said move on Where do I go? I guess second best Is all I will know 'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you, thinking of you What you would do if you were the one Who was spending the night? Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes You're like an Indian summer In the middle of winter Like a hard candy With a surprise center How do I get better? Once I've had the best You said there's tons of fish In the water, so the waters I will test He kissed my lips I taste your mouth, oh He pulled me in I was disgusted with myself 'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you, thinking of you What you would do if you were the one Who was spending the night? Oh, I wish that I was looking into You're the best, and yes I do regret How I could let myself let you go Now, now the lesson's...

I met a Banker this morning (suddenly had a full interest in using the word Banker). He was very tall and very slim. With PINK (milky cotton candy pink) sharp shirt with necktie and sharp slim pants. Also, not forgotten the black thick frame glasses. He looked like some dude from some UK indie band goes commercial. Bank is commercial. HSBC especially. He was holding the Starbucks Espresso Tumbler and yes I found him quite amusing. No, I lied. Its not amusing, I just need distraction . However, in few minutes later, I had my distraction. My AM chased the attendance clock before me just to have its card touched the clock earlier than mine. WTF?! OK this one is amusing. keep on reading. I have this Carrie Bradshaw's vibe. I will write more. (and it doesnt stressed me out cuz I am not getting paid. Shouldn't all blogger?) Hushgirl currently listening to : Distraction Zero 7 Simple Things

Like usual, this morning I was dragging myself to work. I wasnt late. The clock showed 8:25 am when I touched it. I smiled. When I got at my desk, my AM was looking at some piece of papers. And one of them was my attendance list for January. Damn I was 5 times of late comer :( My first warning. Luckily my AM was not so mad, I used the excuse of going home late but he said The Management didnt buy it. I should have known. Argh.. the dejavu came back in, my ex was telling me about his staff that had the red attendance. I was kinda imagining my ex as my boss when my AM nagged at me. It was weird. I hope the February track record would be OK. I hope. To get my AM felt a bit appreciated, today I finished one report in 2 hours. The user urgently asked for a data extraction. I did. My AM suggested me to do the report template on the system so the user can generate the data themselves. I did. And proudly emailed to user.. surprised them on my initiatives. My AM was happy. He said, he alone did...

I always love Sex & The City. HBO's own series. You should have known. Obviously, my fave character was Carrie Bradshaw.. Isnt it obvious.. She's a writer. And she narrated the story. I love it. I love how she came out with the spontaneous idea and how she carried herself. Like Carrie, I am single. And both of us, well.. we didnt giving up on love. But sometimes we had fun. And.. both of us, I guess.. believe that we will find the One, one day. When I walked to the office today.. I was like, thank God I dun have my curls - if not Id be imagining myself as Carrie. But not in way she dressed. She got great taste in fashion, I dun. At least not on me. I was like, if she got great shoes.. Well, I got great music! I know I have great taste in music. And I am proud. Today when I was teaching my fellow colleague to do stuff, my PM came to me and said, 'Hey nice shoes!' Hmm... i never know the little similarity between me and Carrie. At least its proven :) Then I know, some...

again... You have a certain cool, laidback charm right now. Your intellect shines, and you have a gift for creating structure where none existed before. A certain level of confusion regarding your love life lifts at this time. so true? coincidence! but we managed to end it peacefully. at least for me. I didnt cry. maybe cuz it hurts so bad? i dunno. maybe cuz im relief. but to stay positive i think. the never-wrong formula is to think of the sweet times we had together. maybe its fake but its all act up. but again, what we dont know doesnt hurt. so be it. to me, he is still my first and probably my last love. I dun see myself loving other guy like i love him ( again. yes im saying this cuz i havent found one.. of course ) but jie jie, if you happened to read this. i dunno - its you inside that i love, u know it and yes, you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. Hushgirl currently listening to : creep | radiohead

I know to believe in Astrology, Star sign, Zodiac is prohibited in Islam. Its syirik. And I know I am a weak one, its my habit to read it and to get a little bit of inspiration. However, so far I tried to not to believe it even if it sounded so real. I keep my faith with me. There's one day that my friend said its even prohibited to even read it. So I stop reading. Its just that I subscribed for the daily reading and I have been ignore it for a while. But tonite I had the email opened and I was a bit of shock. it reads : Love matters are frustrating right now, and it seems like you're butting heads needlessly. It's a good time to switch channel and focus on work or domestic matters instead. You'll solve this when you're ready. It is so true. I am about to lose my big guy though I know he still loves me and I love him. Its just so complicated. If only I know whats inside his head, but I guess.. what I dont know doesnt hurt. Anyway, I am proud with my decision. Clear...

i just hate silent treatment. Hushgirl currently listening to : img song artiste album

the blog is under maintenance since the writer needs to think or she might stays in denial and not to think. Should we think? why? its not gonna work out anyway, and i dun see wedding bells anyway, but having him is the nicest thing ever. what shud i do? Hushgirl currently listening to : -

I am so bored and sleepy and have no feeling to do any works right now. This morning I was waking up a bit late, I didnt manage to get my gym bag ready. Supposedly today I should go to the gym. But I think I will go tomorrow. I hope I could see my big guy tonite cuz I miss him to bits. Its crazy. I feel like to see him everyday. Although just for a glance. Damn I hate this feeling. Im trying so much not to msg or call him. I dun wanna be the psycho gf. I wanna be the cool gf but I love him to bits. Ahh the L word!. Anyway, damn.. I was out of scope. I am blogging now eventhough I should be working.. and yea I got tons of work to do but I choose not :D Some people are still having lunch.. ( 2 hours.. yea right :P ) I didnt take heavy lunch. I got tuna doughnut Mom bought yesterday and a pack of Milo. It's kinda scary but I kinda have this feeling like losing the appetite. I dun feel like eating heavy things.. I only can imagining the super nice french fries. Shoestring. Extra crisp...

Since I dun actually celebrating Chinese New Year this year, I just called it as 4 days weekend. Happy Holiday for me. Had my parents came over since Friday nite but Babah was back in Pahang on the Saturday morning until Sunday evening. Saturday was girls only day out. Went for movie in Cineleisure, had lunch at The Curve and monthly supermarket sweep at Tesco Mutiara Damansara. I drove the whole trip. It might be my PMS and stuff, that nite got a bit of Emo and had fight with my dear dear big guy. Bad timing I guess, I was Emo when he was overworked and had sleepless nite and after his big reunion dinner, it was a total disaster. I thought at that very moment I would lose him again. But I dont. Sunday nite after the big dinner at K.Linda's crib, the relationship was rekindled. So its a relationship? No. No label. But we're cool. Went on a quick trip to Cameron Highlands on Monday morning. Around 8 am-ish. Had starwberry ice cream at KHM, Kg Setia ( or issit Setia ) - actually ...

i might be crazy.. but he is not just anybody. Hushgirl currently listening to : -

I thought of ignoring my blog since I am in a crappy mood and avoid to cry again. My eyes are swollen and my heart is aching, at this very moment of time, I feel very low and weak. Until when I browsed around and landed on Brandon Boyd's fanpage in Facebook. I dig his status and it inspire me to write. Writing something, maybe through writing I could try to calm down. I couldnt help it but to print screen the status. I have known a couple of guys who use distance as an excuse. The relationship were not working out. Obviously. And I have known before B.Boyd status, that their love are not strong enough. I dun have anything else to say. Hushgirl currently listening to : ~~

its goin to be a very silent day. And I am telling you I'm not going You're best man I've ever known There's no way I can ever go No no there's no way No no no no way I'm living without you I'm not living without you I don't wanna be free I'm staying I'm staying And you - and you You're gonna love me You're gonna love me And I am telling you I'm not going Even though the rough times are showing There's just no way - there's no way We're part of the same place We're part of the same time We both share the same blood We both have the same mind And time and time We've had so much to share No no no no no no I'm not waking up tomorrow morning And finding that there's nobody there Darling there's no way No no no no way I'm living without you I'm not living without you You see there's just no way - there's no way Tear down the mountains Yell, scream and shout You can say what you want I'm n...

Its not My Name is Earl. Its not My Name is Slim Shady. Its... My Name is Khan. ^_^ When me and my sister watched the last season of reruns - Koffee with Karan, she always teased me of fancy Karan Johar. I mean, why not right? He's smart and young and rich and yes, smart again. Personally I think he is super sensitive kinda person. Undoubtedly, he made nice movies. I dun really watch Hindi movie though since I was young I always accompanied my mom or my grandmother to watch Hindi movie. Every Saturday afternoon. I still remember. And I remembered also that I would always fell asleep during the second songs. :D When I was in Matrics, my housemate really dig Hindi stuff, moreover Shahrukh Khan, obviously. She is an Indian Muslim and made me listen to the Hindi song and thought me how to dance, the Indian dance. Giler lah. Enough about that, I am excited to blog this cuz My first Hindi movie I ever watched in Cinema is this movie. A Karan Johar movie - My Name is Khan, and I am super ...

Just love the way she wrote it down. :) mStar Online : Hanya Satu Dalam Seribu! Hushgirl currently listening to : -

Who doesnt love Friday? I But this new place, its the usual 8:30 - 17:30 and the lunch hour is only 1 hour. Nothing special. But Friday has its own charm. It brings happiness. =) And as far as I noticed, Friday is the starting of everything. My 1st bf asked for a relationship on Thursday Nite and the next Friday was a new day to begin with. Love. I met my big guy last week on Thursday and its a new day starting Friday also to me. At least I know he is there for me now. Things like that. I woke up with my body felt a bit hot. I felt a bit of fever but didnt feel any dizzy and cold, so I still went to the office. No wonder when I hugged my big guy the usual goodbye hug, he said my body was hot. Anyway his tummy was a bit of tough n firm this morning, It was funny to think of now. I wish I could write more on what I am currently feel about him but I think its too personal and I kinda scared he would found my blog and read it. This is all immatured and kiddy stuff, not something Im proud o...

I have a regular menses. So far. And like most of us, girls.. I do have PMS. The so called Pre-menstruation syndrome. (it really happen ok, not us making excuse) So many guys mistakenly think girls got PMS during the menses, they are wrong. PMS is before the menses. Like me, it usually 1 week before my due. And my symptoms group in 2, physical syndrome and mental syndrome. Usually it takes turn, but sometimes unfortunately I wud have both. Which is really really uncomfortable and inconvenient. Some of my regular symptoms are : physical -------- 1. Sore n tender breasts 2. Tummy cramp 3. Sore on my back 4. Bad armpit smell (just noticed this happened recently) 5. Cramp at you-know-where area mental ------ 1. Depression 2. Feeling lazy and tiredness (state of mind) 3. Bad Temper 4. Feeling of inferiority complex 5. High appetite. Today is 11th, my due is 17th. Around that, obviously its my PMS week. Some of the mental syndrome has already started. Just last nite, back from the gym, I ate...

I must blog this cuz its such a stupid joke. My biz user called me up, she was attending UAT. }} Amylia, how do I input for staff case? }} Input like usual. }} Cannot la no mapping }} Usually how you all do this? who provide the mapping }} I asked Channel, they said not them. Actuarial not them, so IT lor rasa nak sepak jer. I asked her to come down and show me the error. Instead, she called my boss and my boss asked her to talk to Channel people. IT has no way to do mapping. How do we know. So stupid. on top of it : {{breaking news!!!}} Owh gosh. I just had KFC, we had this makan2 before CNY, and they chose KFC. I was ok. until now I realized that I am not supposed to eat this until June. Owh No!!!!! It just ruined my day =( Hushgirl currently listening to : sob sob sounds.

An old friend of mine just opened his facebook account. This evening when I was working, my gmail alert me for new unread mail. There was the friend request from him. And some comments notification from him to my bff, Anne. The comments was quite funny. I smsed Anne and said, "Gosh Hakim left you some stoopid comment" Then a few minutes later she buzzed me "Yea and I hate it. He's being sarcasm" Anne was referring to some other comments which Hakim, the old friend of us asked Anne if she is already married. Ahh poor Anne. Never thought she could be this sensitive. Anyway, we both have known Hakim since we were in Standard 1. It was very very old friendship, but I wasnt the person who keep in touch. During the matriculation days, we lost contact and I never seen him since forever and he actually married with a son! How time flies. But I am the old same Amy :D Anyway, the old friend also called me up this morning. Invited me for some BBQ nite dinner for the husban...

I already miss my macchiato. =) Esok nak lepak with the BFF! Hushgirl currently listening to : -- nagging blah blah blah

Whoa! At last, a super busy weekend and not alone weekend. hehe This time its a 2-day weekend but it was splendid. Started with accompanied the cousin Nana to her friend's wedding. Actually I like to be in wedding, as long as its not my friend's wedding cuz my friends wedding is pathetic. Anyway, the bride was the ex of my long lost friend, also the mutual friend of me and my cousin. Its cool to see girls at our age to get married. I think its the matured age of a girl. Yes? After the wedding, Nana told me that they are goin to Ikea and to Gmie's house. I without shame told her that I wanna go. If its ok :D ha ha definitely ok. I know that when Nana told me that she got a job in KL, I was super excited. At least, got time together though. Eversince Kak Linda moved out from the crib, we didnt have much time spent together though I'd love to, but now 3 of us would be the ladies of the Lipstick Jungle! Yeay....!!! I spent the nite at the other Sentul crib and watched The P...

Title inspired by my good friend, Toots. So I am obsessed with gLee. I mean why not? It was about music and inspiration, a little bit of life lesson and stuff. And high school life, the typical American high school life. I am always wondering if its real. I got a friend who experienced the American High School life, back in New York. And she was... I think ok la. She's "the Asian" :D Anyway, one thing I really love about gLee is that when they sing, they really sing. Full of expression! I really adore talent. Plus the cast are all so cute and fresh! My fave is Quinn Fabray. The cast portrayed by a very talented young actress, Diana Agron. I dunno why, but she is so cute to be a biyatch and I really into it. She's like a very messed up biyatch who once powerless once she got pregnant. And when she is in her sweet mood with the other gLeek, she looked very natural and sincere. This is one nice quotation from wikipedia about the cast, Quinn Fabray. I love that she can k...

last nite he finally said the L word, not that it was the first time. he said it years ago n since its faded away, i admit i really miss to hear him saying it i hope its not cheap i didnt say the L word though instead i gave him the sweetest smile ever if you were him, how wud you translate it? Hushgirl currently listening to : Friday Im in love The Cure

Left office sharp at 6 pm today. :D Ngeee... Before I left, there was some exciting moment at my cubes. Beside me was my AM or to some people Section Head. I think he got a problem with high blood pressure. So every hours, he checked his BP with the BP monitoring tool. Around 3 pm, he checked and it was quite normal. Maybe above normal but he didnt sigh or yelling. Around 5 pm, the PM came to our territory as she found out one of our colleagues is taking leave on the last day before CNY. She was madly said that she scheduled something on that day and expected my colleague would be around. My AM was pissed cuz she didnt plan the activities ahead and always making chaos on anything that she thinks would delay the project. My AM asked her to conduct the discussion earlier, she said no cuz the bloody vendor is not prepared. So my AM was getting really pissed, he said why the PMO always on the bloody vendor side. You know, the issue was there, the user know about it, why not conduct the dis...

I was so tired yesterday, I went back when the sun went to West and the moon took over. Did you noticed the moon was so beautiful last nite? Or is it the night before? Anyway, last entry was stated that this entry would be a very long one :D We will see. I am writing down this post in my office, lunch hour break. I had couple of fresh fruit cut. Tried to eliminate the rice taking this week. Try Try Try. It was last Monday, when I dressed up for the day out with my sis. All my clothes were snugged. Especially on my arms part. My arms are huge. When I started with gym, I did a lot of weight and my arms were slimmer a bit now they are huuuuge! Damn it. So I still wear my tee. I dunno it might look ugly on me but well.. So other than trying my ass off to the gym, I tried to cut down my meal servings. And tend to start on snacking. Frequent snacks is good. A proper diet plan has 8 times of meal in a day. But its definitely not nasi lemak for breakfast, karipap for snack, nasi campur for lun...

ok I am feeling better. Cya tomorrow with a very very long post! :D ( I hope) Hushgirl currently listening to : -