Musical Life of Hushgirl

It is another working weekend and im killing time to blog. It doesnt excite me to blog since im not emo at all. I miss Nabil. Not really sure what kinda of missing is this. Definitely not the same kind he has to me but thats purely my assumption. He said i might be wrong. Hmm 🤔 Its kinda like missing Chris Martin. Somebody u listen to too much but u know u wont get him in the end. Well, also same as with missing my old xman. The soulmate , you know. Hurm,  maybe i shud miss myself me. Me in Bali. Yes i miss Bali. Your love shines

I finally asked my bff a random question ive been shooting other bff to. Lol So I confessed that I have been stalking my ex- soulmate instagram account. I mean how wouldnt i do it? I was already lost n depressed. I thought it wont affect me. Indeed, it did. Fucking hard. But seeing his chubby yet high cheekbones put a smile on my face. You know the feeling when somebody who used to make you happy and hurt on the same time, its twisted yes, but im so glad i am happy seeing him happy! Even my bff agreed he has a nice life. Good job, pretty wife and cutest couple of baby girls. Yes im happy. I never seen my life having all that. Maybe thats the reason. I love you anyways. :) This is the last emotional entry I'll try

This is gonna be the 1st entry of 2018.  I just realized that there was no single entry in 2017. I am not surprised though cuz 2017 was indeed a worst year. And i just couldnt wait to finish it.  Anyway, the post title is actually the song I am currently listening to.  Also, this gonna be the 3rd version of my blog life. The first was 2002 to 2007 I think. I deleted all the post cuz I couldnt deal with the bitterness. Still i cant actually move on if you ask me.  The 2nd part of my blog life was 2008 to 2016. Guess what, there were still some same persons. Bitter became sweet then bitter again.  C'est la vie. So, something happened last week. I came across instagram of my two men I once called my man. Aww, they look happy. There look like they got what they want and yes they look ridiculously happy. At least, happier than me. Well, I know happy is subjective but seeing them happy, I felt happy too. Then I felt lost. Then I emailed Nabil , and he didnt reply