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Since I dont Have You

Circa 1994...

It was 6:45 am. Heard mom already start the car's engine. I was fixing my tudung, I hate I had to wear tudung at school since forever! It was the new ustazah that make it compulsory.. I hate it that I dont know how to wear it properly and I dont look good in it :D Well, just wear it lah... isk.. I took 2 jarum peniti with pink bead to straighten the tudung. Well, I dunno how to describe it but.. like that lah :D The radio was playing some Ace of Base song.. I think its too "dancey" for the early morning like this but its good enough to perk me up.

Loud bang on the door. Mom screamed "Cepat lah!! Dah pukul baper ni.. karang jam!" I hurrily get my purple knapsack and some text books and got out of the room. Mom was stirring Nestum in the mug and handed to me. "Subuh dah?" "Dah" I said. "Cepatnye.." "Shortcut doa :D" I grinned..

So she drove me to school. When we got into the turn to the way to my school, I saw Anne coming from her dad red car and bought nasi lemak from Cikgu Mazra stall. Nice nasi lemak.. I love the sambal. Then I saw Perhutanan truck and some pupils got off it. Including my batch members, Jimmy, Azwandy and Arie. Arie is my table mate, I smiled when we drove by them. He stayed in Lentang.. I think his dad was the renjer or something.. Thats why he stayed there.

After I kissed my mom goodbye and seeking blessings, I waited for Anne at the canteen. A few minutes later, she walked to me. "Lambatnyerr" "Jimmy tarik bag aku.." Anne sighed. I watched the 3 stooges went to the canteen counter to get something. I walked to the class building with Anne. Our building was the oldest and the original building in school. 2 levels up and brick wall. It was near the football field. My table was beside the window with the field scenic. The morning view was simply breathtaking. With the light fog and greenery .. I love it. I just love to sit down at my place just to enjoy the view in the morning.. and more nicer to be able to check out the seniors during their PJ :D huhu

Siti came from nowhere and said "weyh amy jom lepak kat corner.. KP ada kat balcony"  I smiled and followed her. Anne was eating her nasi lemak at her desk. "Oit tunggu la aku" She hurrily finished her nasi lemak. We just love to hang out at the corner terrace of our level to check out my senior crush. Nuar was his name and he was in his Form 4, I was in my Form 2. We nicknamed him as KP as the first time we knew him he has his leg broken and cemented. :D Jeez... I crushed on him since the very first day he looked so pitiful and he looked like Sean Penn. :D

Exactly 7:45 pm the bell rang and we had to stand outside the terrace to sing Negaraku. I was queuing up with Anne and Pian Arie Hakim and Remy were behind us.  Only 5 of us Malays in my class, others were chinese except Anne. Pian like usual like to tease me. Moreover cuz KP was staring directly  to us. Damn... Since the technical error happened.. Always!! We had to wait until the song played and it was delayed for some minutes.. I went playing with the guys.. Pian put his arm on my shoulder.. "Ni lah anak saudara aku yang baik hati kan... kannnn.." I took his hand down. "Ko memang suka amek kesempatan kaaaaan :P" I jeered him. He just laughing.

When we finally finished singing la la la I sat on my desk and Arie sat beside me. I asked him, "Hey ko bawak tak cassette GnR?" "Ada2" He searched the tape in his black knapsack and handed me the Use Your Illusion I. I was grinned to the ears. "Ada lagu Dont cry kan?" i asked.. Arie just nodded. Lehan was in front of me and jeered me.. "suka sangat!!!" I said "yelah.. arie hari2 duk nyanyi dun cry to me sure la aku suka :D" Arie was just smiling. He didnt talked much. Suddenly I heard someone calling my name.. "Amy! Amy!" I looked down to the field. It was Jajan.. my senior.. i knew him since Elementary School.. he was playing the goalkeeper of the school team and when he got bored with the game he called my name from downthere. I said, "Diam lah giler!" He was laughing hysterically. Obviously a psycho.. Always screamed my name whenever he saw me. Arie was smiling "Dia suka ko tuh" "Giler la.. seb baik cikgu tak masuk lagi.."

Arie was carving something on his stainless steel ruler. The coolest ruler ever.. Seemed like teacher wont be in for the 1st 2 period. So we happily chatting with each other.. I asked him "apa ko buat tuh?" I checked it out "brazil?" He was carving Brazil text on his ruler.. He smiled.. "Aku rasa Brazil menang world cup" "ye ke? bagus ek diorg.." I knew zero about football haha and he talked about football .. i get so interested. I am so excited to have a cool table mate that i could share almost everything.

"Eh lagu yang Gayour lukis dlm Ujang tu takder dalam tape ni ke?" I asked. "Since I dont have you?" "A ah.." "Tu takda... tu spaghetti incident " "cacing tu kan... cover dia gross" "spaghetti laa"  "yuck mcm cacing.. aa tu aku rasa pakchu aku ada... nnt aku pinjam dia jer laa.."

Then it was class like usual.. periods to periods.. the last 2 periods was Living Skills. and we had to go to the workshops to do our Electrical and Wooden projects. I was paired with Arie again :D And he did most of the job :D haha "ala buat apa aku susah.. arie ada.. dia buat semua.. aku kan pompuan" thats what I said everything Hakim and Anne jeered me for not doing anything. Anne just laughing and Hakim teased me more.. Arie would say something like "Ala amy tu... jahit pun aku jahit lagi cantik dari dia" I would just pouting my lips ..

Thats was one of the day in the year 1994 which I think the most exciting year for me. No stress for big exam,.. sorta honeymoon year.. and I was the only Malay chick in my class so I have few Malay guys cared for me. Feelin so special.. :)

Arie was no longer my table mate for the next year.. he dropped to the other class. But we still talking everytime we got the chance. He suddenly became my puppy love after PMR examination, when we just came to school to play and watched movie. And the love messenger was my very own sister :D huhu

Anyway we split up when we were in Form 4, when he got to the Technic School and I stayed in my school. Things happened and I last met him was when we got the SPM results. Anyway, thanks to Facebook that one day my old mate tagged his name on their pictures and I added him as friends. We did talk a little but not much.. I dun normally turn on my fb chat and I always wanted to message him but I kept postponing.. The last time we talked was before my birthday that he was telling me that he wud go to candat sotong in Terengganu on my birthday. That was it.. the last conversation..

:( Nita shocked me this morning around 11 am that Arie met an accident on the way to his workplace. And passed away... I was stunned.. speechless.. regret that I didnt talk much with him.. I was just wanting to ask if he is goin to see Slash.. :( tak sempat.. tak sempat to meet him on Nita's walimaturus after the upcoming Eid... tak sempat for everything. God loves him... only good one dies young.. he was indeed a good one.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un (انّا للہ و انّا الیه راجعون) ~~ Al Fatihah to my dear dear one Arie.. :( May you rest in peace...



Hushgirl currently listening to : Since I dont Have You
Guns N Roses
The Spaghetti Incident?

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