Skip to main content

Definitely, Maybe

Whoa! At last, a super busy weekend and not alone weekend. hehe This time its a 2-day weekend but it was splendid. Started with accompanied the cousin Nana to her friend's wedding. Actually I like to be in wedding, as long as its not my friend's wedding cuz my friends wedding is pathetic.

Anyway, the bride was the ex of my long lost friend, also the mutual friend of me and my cousin. Its cool to see girls at our age to get married. I think its the matured age of a girl. Yes?

After the wedding, Nana told me that they are goin to Ikea and to Gmie's house. I without shame told her that I wanna go. If its ok :D ha ha definitely ok. I know that when Nana told me that she got a job in KL, I was super excited. At least, got time together though. Eversince Kak Linda moved out from the crib, we didnt have much time spent together though I'd love to, but now 3 of us would be the ladies of the Lipstick Jungle! Yeay....!!!

I spent the nite at the other Sentul crib and watched The Proposal. Hmm, dun really into it and its kinda bored to death or maybe I was sleepy and tired, I snored during the movie.

The next morning had the Tiramisu Kak Linda prepared the night before. It was sweet but its not that bad. Definitely the 2nd time would be so so much better! I am thinking now to make one for my big guy.

Talking about my big guy, spent most of the day with him today. Though I didnt dig what happened to his past, I dunno.. its not that I dun care, maybe I am not ready to know or.. I dunno!! I met him during 2003.. and it was on off until 2005. Till then, I never dream to meet him again. Until November last year, he contacted me back ( after I requested for him to add me in his fb list ). It was something unplanned, I never planned to contact him again. I have no idea why I was searching his profile and request to add. Obviously he hated me when he didnt respont to that, I was like .. ok fine. But on EidulAdha, he contacted me back and didnt stop sms-ing to each other since then.

When I met him, again.. Only God knows how I felt. Looking at his face, the face I once loved, and I might said, my very first and true love,.. and maybe my last love, I felt like I was in love with him again. It was unbelievably super exciting moment. And when he asked me to be his girlfriend I was numb. I felt nervous and panic and I couldnt sleep at nite. He was on my mind all the time, and I had no idea what I want. Did I want him or what..

Clearly I was afraid I would lost him again, one Night after consulting with Nabil, I decided to tell my big guy that I dun wanna see him again. But I didnt, the next day, I saw his wedding pics on some blog. And I was super hurt.

I told him what I saw and he kept quiet. Until recently, he told me that he is very much single, and that was his past. I didnt ask for details, I know he was not proud of it and I'd rather to see him and talked about this. That nite, he came over and we talked and talked. Very much the stupid things like UIA experience hehe Before we met, I never know his existence, he saw me quite few times and he said I were wearing too much make ups. hehe So when he talked, and talked, I looked at him and I was like 'Oh my God, how i really love that he is beside me now' I just cant express what I felt that moment. I missed him very very much. And having him beside me was.. its like a dream. And when he said the L word, I was so convinced. Even though I have no idea whats the truth is. Was he playing with my heart or he was so desperate or is he really never stop loving me. I wish I could ask, but I was not myself cuz he did ask if I love him. I didnt say anything. (.. but i know i do still love him)

Today, I didnt ask him about his past yet. I dunno.. He was quite cranky when I saw him. He always cranky like a girl getting PMS at some time. In fact, before I see him, he texted me a very stupid message and I just felt like to provoke him .. until I know it would only lead to stupid argument. So, I got my temper down and just be stupidly emotionless. He was in his well behaved until we traded goodbye.

And sweet too. Very very sweet. I couldnt take my eyes off him. Oh my God, I am so in love!!! For most of the time, I felt like to kiss him non-stop. I really sad when he has to go.

Now that he is gone. Im back to reality. Never know what's in store for me and him in the future. Dun feel like to think about it. Whatever it is, I'm enjoying this very time he is here with me.

My big guy is my GG - like hard candy with a surprise center.




Hushgirl currently listening to :
Thinking of You
Katy Perry
One of the Boys



Popular posts from this blog

pretty in pink Peonies and Blair Waldorf.

just to keep myself happy. zai, peonies means happily in marriage, sorta.. jom carik peonies hand bouquet.. tapi fresh one aku dah survey kat petaling street takder! Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Ada Apa Dengan Cinta

If you know my story, or if this blog still has the original entries, you sure do know that how excited I'd be with the second part of this movie. Yes as per the title. Of cuz it was related with my old man. The ex. Not that we used to go to a movie and watched it together, it was my fave even before I met him. Then when we were met, I shared to him all of my fave things. Including this, also the song Tentang Seseorang which I played in the background of our phone conversation in the wee hours. I have no idea when it became his favorite as well. But I know when he started to call me Cinta. Just like the main cast name. Just Lyke the movie, our relationship suddenly ended. I had hard times trying to forget him. Attempting to accept a new guy in my heart was really hard, and moving on?? He was indeed, my first love. And just like the movie too, we had our second chances. And toward the end, I really believe that, that was love. I was in love, he loves me. That was the closure

Emotion Sickness

I finally asked my bff a random question ive been shooting other bff to. Lol So I confessed that I have been stalking my ex- soulmate instagram account. I mean how wouldnt i do it? I was already lost n depressed. I thought it wont affect me. Indeed, it did. Fucking hard. But seeing his chubby yet high cheekbones put a smile on my face. You know the feeling when somebody who used to make you happy and hurt on the same time, its twisted yes, but im so glad i am happy seeing him happy! Even my bff agreed he has a nice life. Good job, pretty wife and cutest couple of baby girls. Yes im happy. I never seen my life having all that. Maybe thats the reason. I love you anyways. :) This is the last emotional entry I'll try